![]() Many parents are upset when they find their child playing during timeout, but it's actually a good sign that the child has regained self-control. Older children can help decide where to go and what they can do to help themselves calm down.Īllow the child to play. Suggest things the child can do to calm down while in timeout. Teach children how to regain self-control. Then, when you feel better, come out and we can work on a solution." Say, "When you feel like you're going to lose control, you can go (specify the place) and do something to make yourself feel better. Teach children during a happy time about the value of a cooling-off period. If you want timeouts to be constructive, try following these guidelines:ĭevelop a plan in advance. Effective discipline, however, teaches children lessons from their poor behavior choices, rather than punishing them. "You go to your room (or chair) and think about what you did." The tone of voice usually implies, "and you suffer." Imposing suffering only brings on more resentment and power struggles. Most adults have the mistaken idea that the whole point of sending children to timeout is to make the child suffer for their misbehavior. Since the purpose of a timeout is to help someone regain control, it is most appropriate to use when someone has lost self-control or there is extremely disruptive behavior. Timeout is just one tool - and it really isn't a "discipline" tool it's an effective anger-management tool. Plus, overusing one particular tool also reduces its usefulness. One tool, however, is rarely effective for all situations. Many parents use the same type of discipline for every problem situation.
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